The Practice of a No Returns Policy

Last weekend was my annual yoga retreat, and it was amazing. I came home feeling filled and reenergized, held up by the beautiful community of yogis who joined me on the journey.

And, as I do every year, I also had the opportunity to see reflections of the places where I am still growing, evolving, letting things go, and letting things in.

One of those places is feeling enough.

Why is it that when someone gives us honest “negative” feedback, we often have a reaction? We wrestle with it. We analyze it. We defend ourselves against it. We may even feel ungrateful for what sounds like criticism.

You would think, then, that we would thrive on positive feedback.

But often, I find myself doing something surprisingly similar with praise.

Someone tells me something wonderful about myself, and instead of simply receiving it, my mind starts looking for exceptions.

If they really saw all of me, they wouldn’t think that.

There are so many other people who are more worthy of that praise.

They are so much more amazing than I am.

It feels wrong to accept it as though I really am that thing.

And on and on the mind goes.

It makes me wonder: What if receiving praise is also a practice?

What if we could simply let it land?

What if, instead of qualifying it, comparing it, or explaining it away, we allowed ourselves to feel held, honored, and loved by it?

To receive someone’s words as a loving embrace. As a reflection of something they genuinely see in us.

Not as proof that we are better than someone else. Not as a declaration that we have it all figured out. Not as a statement that every good thing someone sees in us is true all the time.

Just as a gift.

A reminder that we are lighting up the world in our own unique way.

And perhaps receiving that gift is part of the exchange of love itself: someone sees something beautiful in us, offers it to us, and we allow ourselves to receive it rather than handing it back with an explanation.

I’m going to continue my own journey in this area—to practice receiving the good stuff without needing to diminish it.

And I hope the same for you.

When someone tells you something beautiful about yourself, see if you can resist the urge to explain it away. Let it land. Let yourself be seen. Let yourself receive.

There is only one you.

And you are worthy of all the good stuff.

With love and resonance,