Like all authors, I create descriptions for each character when I write. What do they look like? What motivates them? What are their interests, beliefs, and quirks? What major life events have they survived, and how did they affect them? A million little details flesh out each of us and make us interesting.
YOU are the author of your character description. You’ve been adding to it and updating it all your life. Most of it was written when you were young, based on external events/influences, comparing yourself to cultural norms and things said by other people. Your brain is happy to store your self-description, constantly reminding you of who you are. And because the brain focuses on the negative – after all, in primitive times, noticing things that were not normal or dangerous could save us from a saber tooth tiger – it typically reminds us of our shortcomings and quirks. But it’s only comparing us to the character description WE wrote, no matter how outdated, biased and untrue it might be.
So consider doing two things that can change your life. First, know – at a deep, unshakeable level – that you are not your human mind and body. You are a perfect soul. Your complete soul character description is ‘I am.’ Done.
Second, because we need to animate this human body while on this planet, grow, learn and make a difference, re-write your human character description to affirm the positive, wonderful, delightful things about you. And really, there are no ‘good’ and ‘bad’ character traits. Embrace who you are, the whole messy enchilada.